If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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