Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
