im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's never too late to be topless.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
