Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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