Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
