You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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