They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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