Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
