i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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