She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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