i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize