ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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