At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize