do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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