i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
