you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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