I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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