I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
