I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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