I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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