he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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