If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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