from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
