Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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