Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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