PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
a search helicopter?!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
