I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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