Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
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Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
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He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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