Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
