Pants 0. Shit 1.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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