her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
