Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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