Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
