I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
