Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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