I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
