he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
