O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
