I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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