this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
