Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
