four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
