So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
