my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
