i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
