I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
