why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I am one with the molecules
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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