but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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