I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
