i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
