It's like God shit irony all over that family
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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