just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
