On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
