Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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