You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
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Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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