genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize