It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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