I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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