Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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