I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
