you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize