I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
