do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can you bring me the toilet please
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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