So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
