there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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